Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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