these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
