the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
