hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
