butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
