Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The adults are the big ones right?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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