I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize