i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
