Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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