he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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