remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
