There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
