considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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