hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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