kristin has been a bad kristin
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
