I want to stick my p in your. b.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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