please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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