ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
