I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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