i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
