her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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