The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
