I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
