fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
