Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Who died my cat blue again?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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