I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
