Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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