Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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