I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
