I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize