Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
