Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
