Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
