somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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