The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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