weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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