Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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