Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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