Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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