we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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