Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
