my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hippo gnu deer
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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