even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
