i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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