We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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