yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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