Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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