Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
