It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
