He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
