Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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