Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm both gender and math confused
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
