Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
