i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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