No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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