Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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