I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
