I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
