No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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