Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
